Breaking the stereotype of a kindergarten teacher is not exactly what I am here to do today. This post is simply dedicated to sharing some of the hidden tales of what happens in a typical kindergarten classroom. The type of tales that only a teacher gets the joy of experiencing on a daily basis. It would also be a shame not to share some of the borderline amazing stories I've got with the world. Take a moment to think of all the recent AT&T commercials. Now imagine this all day long with a class of 21 students. Teaching is a job that could drive a weak person to the nuthouse. A smart teacher knows that what you need to do is turn all the negatives into positives and laugh about it. I'm not going to lie, there have been many times when I have been on the verge of a breakdown then a moment like the ones below happen and instead I break out into laughter. My assistant helps a lot with this as well. She is constantly using sarcasm with them and let me remind you, they are an average age of 6 and typically give us a look of total confusion. There are constant reminders of why it is I have jumped through rings of fire to have my own classroom. If there wasn't, I'm not sure teachers would survive.
Alright, let's just go for it and start with the nasty part of my job. The gross stuff that no one tells you about until you have signed the contract and are stuck in a room with kids who just learned how to dress themselves. Let me start by informing those of you who don't already know this about me, I am a germaphob. I am constantly thinking about when I can wash my hands next. This is partly due to the fact that anything and everything gets me sick. I knew this year my immune system was in for a treat, but didn't really think of being constantly surrounded by messy children. Let's first start off by the sneezing and couching that goes down. No matter how many times you remind them to cover their mouths/noes there will always be those 1 or 2 children that think you just like to repeat that for fun. I won't name names, but one of my little boys this year would constantly sneeze in my face. I got excellent at dodging them but I am not superwomen here. Now let's move on the the puke. Yeah, I went there. There is no sugarcoating that word in Kindergarten so get over it. I lucked out this year, most of my children made it to trash cans or on the floor. If I would have been barfed on at school (like many of the horror stories my veteran co-workers told me about), I don't know that I would still be teaching no matter how much I love it.
Boogers, good old boogers. Clearly picking and digging was a constant sight. I started off being polite but eventually just ended up starring at the child with my teacher stare until they realized what they were doing. Or I just went with the one liner, "tissue". They immediately knew I wasn't playing and left those boogs alone. I wish I had captured some of the faces they would make when they knew they were caught in the act. By the end of the year I think my children knew not to be caught doing that by me or ended up being excellent at hiding it. Either way, I am cool with it. Runny noses also began to fade out by the end of the year and thank goodness because constant dry heaving when I saw a child with a water fountain flowing from their nose to mouth was not part of any of my lessons. As for the booboos... From bruises to blood. They were constant and often turned into acting auditions. Most of the real accidents came from falling on the playground, picking scabs, or nose bleeds. I am not good with blood. Shocker, right? Thank you Jesus for Mrs. Lupton, my handy-dandy assistant. She is a mother of 4 and can handle anything. I'm pretty sure I came close to passing out when I had to clean a chin gash one of my little girls got from taking a face-dive into mulch. The smell of blood is something I can't handle. And that my friends, is obviously the only reason I couldn't save lives for a living.
Sharing this side of kindergarten doesn't often come up in a typical conversation so that was therapeutic to get that out of my system.
Let's move right on to the clumsiness that comes with kindergartners. This amazing trait may stay with some of them, but for right now they all have their fair share. I have tried holding in my laughter when they miss their chair or trip over their own feet, but I no longer feel it is necessary unless they are truly injured. I'm now a pro at instantly knowing when it's just Mr. Clumbsy taking over. Why yes, I'll share my wisdom with you - You've got to look for the 3 stages of emotion that hits within a minute time frame. Stage 1: Shock. This is the funnest to watch for. Their priceless face is basically saying, "What the heck just happened to me?" Sadly, it doesn't last long until the next stage hits. Stage 2: Crying. This is when they realize they have hurt themselves or are terribly embarrassed by their lack of control of their tiny bodies. This is when, as a teacher, you've got to go into actress mode/mom mode and stop the laughing because it only makes them cry more. The next stage will roll on in if you are a good nurturer like myself. Stage 3: Laughter. This when the child realizes the only way to keep their street cred is to turn that frown upside down immediately. Now you know what to look for, your welcome new mothers.
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| My kids on Field Day |
Field Day was during the last week of school and I was astonished at how athletic some of them had become. Not much clumsiness came out of them that day. What a shame. They must just save that for the classroom.
Bribery becomes your best friend in a Kindergarten classroom. Let me give you the politically correct term for any of my professors reading this, "positive reinforcement". There is no other way for me to explain this but kindergarteners haven't fully developed a sense of self fulfillment. That is why sweets, toys, games, and sometimes parties that include sweets, toys, and games become a part of your daily routine. Any kind of classroom management from individual, to table, to class I have going on in my classroom. You can never have enough! I am constantly searching Pinterest and blogs for new management ideas, so if you are a teacher and have a favorite, please share! I love learning what others do in their classroom. Sharing is caring! :)
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| I am the M&M Queen in Kindergarten |
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| My kids on the carpet on the last day of school. |
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